[The Other Side of the Story]

Ala, dah lama dah masuk 2013 baru nak welcome? Well, memang sangat la tak sempat, tengok-tengok dah bulan Februari....Alhamdulillah, 3 Februari 2013, genaplah usia aku 32 tahun. Syukur pada Allah kerana masih berikan aku peluang bernafas di dunia ini....Masih kurang ibadatku pada-Mu Ya Allah, maka Kau tetapkanlah imanku untuk terus berada di jalan-Mu, ameen. Nak reply wishes kat fb pun tak sempat ok, so sorry yer. Memanjang kerja, then penat, then kerja lagi....Macam-macam diperlukan sekarang, sampai kekadang tak tahu nak buat yang mana satu. So, redah jer.... Hari nie, aku curi-curi masa update blog yang dah bersawang nie. Takde apa yang special sangat pun melainkan kerja, kerja, kerja....Kelas dah nak start, semester baru dah nak bukak tapi aku rasa macam tak sempat nak bernafas jer nie. Macam takde break la....Terkejar-kejar membahagikan masa antara dua office, sampai permanent office ni nampak macam stor jer sebab aku tak sempat kemas, huhuhu....Sangatlah jealous tengok bi...

tapi tak tau pada siapa....Teruk ker aku? Cuma nak rasa dihargai....tapi semua orang kata tak penting pun benda tue, kenapa nak sangat rasa dihargai? Semua tue dunia jer....Habis tue, kalau kita dah buat macam-macam, sepatah ucapan thanks pun orang tak bagi, tak rasa down ker? Aku hanya manusia biasa....Bila dekat aku, semua orang akan kata tak patut aku macam nie, macam tue.... Dah tue, kena plak gelar pendendam. Habis semua la gelaran untuk aku, kalau yang teruk memanglah aku kan? So, terimalah saja yang buruk-buruk untuk aku, orang lain yang buruk takpe plak.... Mood: Tengah memujuk hati sendiri, huhuhu....

Everything happened to me nowadays needs an ad hoc solutions. What I've planned earlier do not work at this moment. However, it seems that I've got a hint before it happened. Normally these hints came across when I wake up in the morning. It's hard to explain - it's just like your gut feeling ( a strong belief about someone or something which cannot completely be explained and does not have to be decided by reasoning). Well, I have to learn to make a quick changes and decisions to my original plans. It's very hard actually, since I love to stick on what I've planned. But when you deals with other person, you need high tolerance in such matters. I'm just human....

Mengemas? Kemas apa yer? Macam-macam ada....Mengemaskini dokumen-dokumen penting, mengemaskini kepala otakku ini dengan up-to-date information on workload yang baru etc.... Mengemas umah pun ada....Yang nie lagi pening kepala - bab-bab cuci umah memenatkan. Pastu memindah & menyusun barang pun memenatkan, almaklum la space limited, barang banyak (banyak sebab suka mengumpul entah apa-apa barang la - hubby kata sampah pun aku suka simpan).... Entah, pening memikir dateline + kerja-kerja lain....Memang excited nak dok umah sewa sendiri tapi mengenangkan masuk umah bukan masuk cuci kaki (entah betul atau tak perumpamaan yang aku pakai nie), jadi less excited, huhuhu.... Doakan yang terbaik....

I'm not happy.....that's it.....

Baru seminggu lebih duduk berjauhan dengan mak, rindu sangat. Mak pun tak boleh dengar my voice over the phone, tak sempat cakap apa lagi pun dia dah nangis, huhuhu....Kalau mak nangis, aku pun automatic akan nangis....Aku tahu, mak sunyi sebab aku takde. Maklumlah, 2 years we stayed with my parents when I was studying @ UUM. Really missed the opportunity to spend more time with my parents. Bagi la masa banyak mana pun, aku still rasa tak cukup....Rindu mak sangat-sangat. Love you so much mum.

A lot of work to do.... I wish that I have more than 24-hours a day and don't feel tired at all.....could I?

I'm not emotionally stabled - that's the best phrase to desribe myself at this moment. Why? I also don't know. A bit sensitive lately, maybe....I've been trying to be myself again but I don't think that I'm being myself. Lack of self-confidence, this is not me.... Babe @ Sabrina, I missed sharing everything with you, lots and lots to be shared. I guess that if we meet someday, it's gonna be a very long chat - for sure 3 days and 2 nights is not enough ;oD p/s: Babe, I cried when I read your entry about angah....