[The Other Side of the Story]

Alhamdulillah, masih diberi kesempatan sehingga ke hari ini untuk bernafas dan hidup di atas muka bumi. Alhamdulillah, langkah ini masih kuteruskan, ceritaku ini masih belum berkesudahan. Apa penghujungnya, bagaimana kesudahannya? Hanya Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui.... Terngiang-ngiang lagi kata-kata berikut: "Supervisor awak memang tak nak kat awak dah kot" "Kenapa tak nak amik jer jawatan guru bahasa kat Tamhidi tu?" "Bukan apa, bila ko belajar ada masalah macam nie, nanti kami semua akan dapat surat peringatan untuk belajar sungguh-sungguh, jangan main-main" Sapa yang utarakan dialog di atas? Biarlah rahsia, mungkin akan ada yang perasan dia pernah berkata begitu padaku. Well, biarlah apapun yang orang nak kata. Mulut diorang kan? Aku? Masih di sini, alhamdulillah. Bagi yang kata statement pertama, ko pun bukannya belajar masa tu, spouse ko yang belajar. So memang sedap la kata macam tu kan? Statement kedua: Andainya ko yang berada kat tempat aku, ko buat a...

Got the official acceptance letter yesterday, through e-mail. Alhamdulillah, finally our paper is going to be published in the 18th September 2011 issue of the journal. Hope that this accomplishment will boost up my spirit in order to continue writing in the future, insya-Allah.

A lot of work to do.... I wish that I have more than 24-hours a day and don't feel tired at all.....could I?

This entry will be in Malay + English = Manglish - so boleh tulis panjang-panjang sikit. If Hafiz AF ada lagu Masih Jelas, I do have a song "Masih Jauh"....Apa yang jauh? Perjalanan hidup inilah yang masih jauh, tak jelas & kabur....Kena banyak bersabar dalam menempuhinya....Sebaik-baik manapun perancangan kita, He is the best planner. Kita boleh merancang, tapi Dia yang menentukan. Berfalsafah plak aku pada hari Jumaat yang penuh barakah nie.... I'm at Toyota Service Prai when I'm writing this entry. Waiting for my Vios to be serviced again - this time ganti alarm system + rear absorber yang leaking (both are still under warranty) + complaint on last service - break still bunyi bising biler ditekan & last service kata dah repair. Well, it is not easy to maintain a car (what happened when we have more than one car?).... On our wedding anniversary, I had a meeting with my supervisor. Well, the meeting took almost 1 hour +++, as usual. He pushed me to complete m...

Still @ Langkawi....Dah beberapa hari tak online, nervous nak present paper. Padahal sampai sudah tak prepare apa sangat pun....Attended conference for 3 days and now it's time for us to ronda-ronda pulau Mahsuri....Presentation? Well, not too bad la (but I'm always thinking that I'm the worst presenter). Got no question for me - it means either orang faham apa yang I present atau sebenarnya diorang langsung tak faham apa yang I merapu kat depan tue, hahaha....Still, I need to improve my presentation skills. Nervous sangat - pastu bila dah nervous tendency cakap laju-laju + pronunciation tunggang terbalik (lidah terbelit cakap omputih nie)....Apa yang best biler attend conference or seminar nie ialah kita akan kenal ramai orang. Networking process and this is very important to everyone, tak kira la academician ker, entrepreneur ker, student pun sama.... Aktiviti kat Langkawi? Timetable for this conference was too tight - nak curi masa sangat pun susah. I plak memang jenis y...

Plan nak ke Alor Star naik bas jer kat Butterworth - tapi bas penuh, kena berasak-asak. Hubby tak suka keadaan yang macam tue. So hubby hantar la pi umah my uncle so that boleh tumpang dia ke UUM. Kesian my other half - drive sorang2....Nasib la ada Ulfah jadi peneman - tapi budak kecik pun mana boleh buat teman bersembang, huhuhu.... Pastu dah sampai umah my friend, tengah seronok iron baju tup tup black-out la pulak. Tension - panas, kerja tak siap, semua perasaan ada. Almost 1.5 hours without electricity now. Slides for tomorrow's presentation pun belum siap. I can't go nowhere since no car, no hubby with me this time. My friend terpaksa balik Penang - unexpected thing happened. Ya Allah, tabahkanlah hamba-Mu ini. Semoga elektrik akan ada secepat mungkin....dah nak malam nie....

Still in new year mood....Masih belum terlewat, Salam Maal Hijrah & Happy New Year 2010 everyone. Moga tahun ini akan lebih baik dari tahun yang sebelum sebelumnya. Azam tahun baru? Banyak sangat, tak habis tulis lagi....Yang penting, azam on my study la....Doa-doakan semoga dipermudahkan perjalanan ini.... P/s: Baru dapat tau my junior @ high school passed away....Al-Fatihah to allahyarhamah Suhieda Sukiman & takziah to Aswad (her hubby & also my junior). Aswad, stay strong. The kid needs you....

It took me almost one whole day to organize a research summary and I need only 6 pages to make it done. But still, I'm not finished with it yet. I've drafted the important points last week but could not managed to have a look at it during the weekend. I've tried to write something yesterday but I was too tired. Here I am, stuck in the middle of it....Which part? Almost all.... 6 pages - seems very little but with single spacing - a lot of things can be in there. The dateline was yesterday but I hope that the organizer will still accepting my paper tomorrow. Still need to work on it tonight + I want to meet my supervisor tomorrow - asking for his feedback on this paper. I need to polish my writing skills - the most important thing now (besides the analysis skills using SPSS - 5 years without practicing, 5 years of not playing around with the software and now I want to use it - can you imagine?).

Moga masa yang diperuntukkan ini akan digunakan dengan sebaiknya....

Happy birthday sweet-10 to my youngest sister, Basyeerah. May Allah Bless you always. Jangan nakal-nakal, be a good muslimah. Kejap jer masa berlalu, our youngest sibling dah 10 years now. Manja jangan cakap la, masih nak tido dengan mak & ayah. Keras kepala pun tak kurang hebatnya - cakap dia jer yang betul....However, ada jugak la dia untuk dilayan ;oD Updates? Nothing special. Alhamdulillah, managed to finish off my data collection. I'm doing the analysis part now, banyak jugak analysis yang nak kena buat. Step-by-step....Macam-macam....Tapi perjuangan masih perlu diteruskan.... To all my friends (Awe & hubby, Fina & hubby, Paq Dan & wife) yang telah selamat melangkah ke alam perkahwinan - Selamat Pengantin Baru. Semoga berbahagia sehingga ke akhir hayat. Ribuan kemaafan dipinta kerana tidak dapat memeriahkan majlis kalian - my hubby kerja.

aku menghantar reminder email to the respondents - dengan harapan bilangan survey yang kuterima akan meningkat. Doa-doakan, insya-Allah....Alhamdulillah, semakin banyak sebenarnya bilangan survey yang kuterima cuma masih belum mencukupi untukku membuat analisis yang sewajarnya, sesuai dengan kehendak supervisor aku. Kalau nak diikutkan hati, memang taknak guna "mail survey" as my data collection method (known for its low response rate) tapi nak buat macam mana, this is the best medium that I have so that my study will achieve its target. Nak guna online survey tapi tak praktikal for Malaysian SMEs (at the moment - in the future mungkin berubah). So stick with this method and trying harder to increase the response rate. Sebenarnya bukan susah mana pun nak jawab survey aku, everything is provided except pen/pencil nak jawab jer. Reply envelope with stamp was provided in every survey package posted to the respondent. To those yang jawab - thank you very much from the bottom of m...

Tajuk entry nie macam tajuk email yang aku selalu hantar kat supervisor ;oD Tak update blog sebab takde apa yang special happening buat masa ni buat kami, hehehe....By the way, kami dapat anak saudara baru pada 26 Oktober 2009. It's a girl (another girl)....Anak my bro, Muhammad Ubaidullah & his wife, Mahani. Nama yang diberikan: Firzanah, yang bermaksud pintar, bijak. Semoga Firzanah membesar sebagai seorang anak yang pintar & bijak serta solehah buat her parents. Gambar (cilok dari adik ipar aku - Fendi from his facebook album). Baju yang Firzanah pakai of course la from her mak ngah & pak ngah (I love shopping - esp. for baby girl).... So 'Ammar Faiz masih satu-satunya anak saudara lelaki tunggal buat masa nie....Kak Chik, we'll wait for your baby next year, insya-Allah. Although kami belum lagi diberi peluang menimang cahaya mata sendiri, we are blessed with the arrival of anak saudara yang comel-comel. Penat jugak melayan keletah mereka yang manja ;oD Balqi...

makin pelupa la....Ada ker patut, tak bawak charger laptop....Dah la akan berada kat KL for a few days, charger laptop tertinggal kat Kulim....Nasib la my other half pun pakai ACER so boleh pakai charger dia cuma tak effective - susah nak full charge dengan cepat....This time, packing semua last minute....Rasa macam malas nak packing + kami memang kalau berjalan, macam satu umah nak dibawak ;oD Kalau bonet tak penuh, bukan Sumaiyah + Sophian ler tue ;oD Ramai yang cakap, kami kalau ada anak sorang pun entah2 kena pakai MPV, huhuhu.... Well, right now I'm alone at Crystal Crown Hotel - my hubby ada shooting majlis akad nikah petang nie....Pastu esok dia akan cover majlis resepsi plak....Tonite, kami ada dinner invitation @ my hubby's best friend. Esok malam pun ada member kami buat open house @ Putrajaya. Insya-Allah kami akan ke sana.... Esok nak buat apa yer? Hubby pi amik gambar, boring la sorang2....Nak window shopping tapi hubby kata kena ada kawan. Kalau takde kawan, takle...

Currently at UUM, kejap lagi nak jumpa supervisor (ada masa tulis blog lagi ;oD)....Dah siapkan reliability analysis (preliminary study). Hope ok la....Still in the process of speeding up my data collection. Guys, doa2kan la my respondents jawab survey tu yer....Inilah kesukaran yang dihadapi when we use primary data & the respondents are human :-/ Well, just do not give up. Hidup ini penuh dengan dugaan. To all yang masih berjuang seperti diriku ini, marilah sama-sama kita teruskan usaha ini. Percayalah, dugaan kita takkan sama antara satu sama lain tapi dugaan itulah yang akan mendekatkan kita pada-Nya & yang akan mematangkan kita. Peringatan buat diriku juga (since aku selalu terfikir kenapa orang lain tak ada masalah macam aku nie). Puasa - hari kelima. Moga lebih baik dari hari yang sebelumnya....

I'll be away starting from tomorrow till end of next week....Going to KL for my data collection....Please pray for me - pray that everyone will give full co-operation, pray that the intended person is willing to fill-up my questionnaire....Pray that everything is going to run smoothly....

30 June 2009..... Almost two years after leaving QUT (to be precise, two years after my proposal defense @ QUT), here I am @ UUM, still struggling to finish my study..... Alhamdulillah, He gives me strength to still fight for my future.... With lots of ups & downs, with more downs than the ups....not everyone understand what we've gone through....WE a.k.a. masters/PhD students doing research.... To everyone, especially my other half, my parents, my grandma & my parents-in law, my siblings & my family, my friends....thank you very much for the prayers & wishes....Still, I need everyone "doa" in the next phase of my study.... To my supervisor - thank you for your guidance, support, for everything.... To Ila, my best friend - thank you very much for everything sweetie.... To Sabrina - babe, counting days to meet you.... Again and again, to my precious, my other half.... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Well, there will be no regular updates for my blog....Very busy, especially when the data collection process takes place recently. Pressure, tension, semua ada....I'll be very happy if everyone will give full cooperation but believe me, it is very hard to deal with human being (nak buat macam mana, kena juga deal dengan human since human sajer la yang boleh provide info & data yang diperlukan).... To all owners/managers of Malaysian manufacturing SMEs, dengarlah luahan hatiku ini: I'm not a tax officer or custom officer or immigration officer....I'm just a student that really needs your cooperation to fill-up my survey questionnaire. Your response will remain anonymous and confidential – it will be strictly use for academic purpose only. The survey is an important part of my dissertation research. Without a proper response to this survey, I will not be able to progress in my studies. I would really appreciate your help.

Quite happy, because I can declare that today is the most productive day ;oD Kalut buat kerja, sampai kalau tak boleh buat, terus call supervisor....Pagi-pagi lagi dah email dia mintak reference list yang dia janjikan semalam....Pulun Maya pulun, esok nak send draft sekali lagi before nak balik Kulim....

and a tiring task too....This happened when I did my Malay version questionnaire....It is a hard thing to do, not a simple task although our mother tongue language is Malay okay....I find out that translating the questionnaire from English to Malay is difficult - in order to make sure it carries the same meaning for both languages and it is quite funny too. Sometimes, direct translation won't mean the same. For me, English language is very simple and straight to the point compared to Malay - it will take more Malay words to explain a single English word. However, this process is compulsory for those who plan to conduct a survey study in Malaysia, since Malay language is widely used by all and it is our national language too. Frankly speaking, I prefer that my survey questionnaire contain both languages - to make the respondents' life easier. If they happened to get confuse with the Malay "phrase", they can refer to the English one. Thanks to my big bro for helping me....

This time, I'm not complaining about my Celcom broadband (sebab memang teruk pun ;oD) but UUM punya internet connection. Lambat betul nak download articles - I guess sebab peak hours, so everyone is using the internet. It affected my progress - just because I need to check on the authors' full name for my EndNote lists (of course my intention is to get the articles but not everything can be downloaded here due to the limited access)....A bit stress about this but it is part of the life - accept it or leave it.... Well, that's not the end of the world. To make it fast - use GOOGLE SCHOLAR. At least, I can get the authors' name - wihout the full articles of course but it helps to solve my little problem ;oD I realized that in our life, we have so many options. Don't think straight, but be creative. And the most important thing is - Allah will always helps you because He knows best....